4. Love Comes from Your Partner
I cannot realize love by myself. Where does love come from? Love does not come from me, but from my spouse. Since love comes from my spouse, I must bow my head and serve her. This is the origin of the heavenly principle of living for the sake of others. We must live by this philosophy. It means, when someone worthy and precious comes to me, I must honor and serve her in order to receive her. (143-277, 03/30/1986)
I may have love in my heart, but when I am alone it cannot manifest itself. Love does not appear when a man is alone. It only emerges when he is with a woman who can be his partner in love. Only when you have a partner to love will you experience love springing up in your life. (Blessed Family-342, 10/29/1982)
We know that parental love is good and conjugal love is good, because these genuine loves are not self-centered. Love is not something I can make for myself; it is something my partner gives to me. Keep this in mind. Love comes from your husband and from your wife, from your sons and daughters, and from your brothers and sisters.
Love is not self-made. Your spouse gives it to you. Therefore, who is the owner of love? Your spouse is the owner of love. (34-331, 09/20/1970)
Where did we say love comes from? It comes from your partner. Think about it: if your wife neglected her appearance and always had a mean expression on her face, your love for her would recede. On the other hand, if your wife takes care to make herself pretty and always approaches you with a lovely smile, your love for her will develop more quickly. The way your love functions is determined by your partner, according to the way she presents herself: her speech, her beauty, her scent, and so on. (Blessed Family-342, 10/29/1982)
What is the starting point of love? The starting point of love is not “I.” The word love implies a relationship. Even the most handsome man cannot know love if he is alone without a partner.
“I love you”: these are words that Satan has been exploiting. The truth is, I cannot create love. You may think that you do, but there will be no progress in the future unless that mindset is totally dismantled and transformed.
Wives have been putting themselves at the center, and husbands have been putting themselves at the center, both wanting to be served. This mindset destroys relationships. Since love does not start from me but from my spouse, if I am to possess that love I must serve her and live for her sake.
Love requires patience and self-sacrifice. From this perspective, there is no path anywhere in heaven or on earth to overcome the satanic world except by following the principles of love centered on God. That is why God is holding tightly onto love. Therefore, love is the basis for the Buddhist virtue of compassion.6 Likewise, love is the basis for the Confucian virtue of benevolence.
Compassion and benevolence are realized only in the context of mutual relationships. (46-35, 07/18/1971)