4.7 Never quarrel in front of your children

When husband and wife are not united, there is no peace or freedom. If you want peace, you must unite your mind and body. That is my foremost precept. Saints have believed themselves to be so holy, in contrast to the rest of the world being evil. That is not the case. Everything went wrong from the very start. When mother and father, husband and wife are disunited, heaven and earth will reject them. Conversely, when first, second and third generations become one, the blessings of heaven and earth will shower upon you. (243-170, 01/03/1993)

When you are together with your children, you and your spouse should never fight. Pledge to each other that you will never show animosity in front of them. My wife and I made that promise. As a result, our children are sure that their parents never quarrel and that they love each other more than any other couples in the world.
Educate your children to become the hope of the world surpassing any king or queen. Your sons should want to live like their father, and your daughters should want to live like their mother. That is true education. (90-119, 12/21/1976)

Your children should be able to testify that they've never seen their parents bickering. All sorts of situations can crop up, don't you agree? Sometimes you are irritable and get into an argument with your spouse. Though your matrimonial relationship may not be working out the way you wanted, do not be unduly dejected or try to force the issue. Even if you feel a strong desire to air your opinions, you must stop yourself the moment your children enter the room. You must stop right there.
However vexed you may be, do not face your child with an angry countenance. That is my philosophy. Our children believe that their parents are always at peace with each other. They consider us to be the best mother and father in the world. Their mother and father are their second God. Children, who, when asked, "Do you want God or your parents?" answer that they prefer their parents, actually please God with such a reply. Such filial love is immeasurably precious. That is the most precious education people could receive.
Children's emotions revolve around their parents. Educate your children in such a way that your sons will desire to have wives taking after their mother, and your daughters will wish for husbands in their father's mold. Even if they should fail to find such spouses, they will be all the more determined to raise the ones they do find to that level. Such are the fruits of true education. The education of heart begins in the family.
Quarrelsome couples drive God out of their homes. Eventually they drive away their spouses, their parents and even their children. The whole family just falls apart. (165-94, 05/20/1987)

Love your children. It is neither easy being somebody's mother or father, nor is it a trifling matter giving birth to children. You need to know that children are born to fulfill their cosmic destiny. Anchor your children to the love existing between you and your spouse, which is firmly embedded in the law of God's eternal true love, with the vertical love of heaven and the horizontal love of earth fused into oneness. If you did not conceive your children under those auspices, you must repent. If your children go astray, you should first repent before you think of punishing them. Follow this method in educating your children. Being a parent is an arduous task. Don't live thoughtlessly.
Don't you think I had moments when I got really angry with True Mother? Do you think there were occasions on which I might have lost my temper and spoken harshly to her? Were I centered on myself I might have done that. Nonetheless, it is in such moments that I think of God, of how True Parents would act and how the True Father should conduct himself in such circumstance.
If she is at fault, however, I may remonstrate with her even to the point of shedding bitter tears. Husbands are responsible for correcting their wives. However, never call her names. Basing all your dealings with your wife on the bedrock of God's love, you must renounce the use of all satanic elements and mediums of marital communication that contradict the laws of heaven and earth. Please understand this. (168-218, 09/20/1987)